The answer is no.
Coming to university was something I have always wanted, for as long as I could possibly remember and I feel like I came into it thinking I had a royal flush on life and I didn’t. I was overestimating myself.
My oldest brother got married last year and attending that wedding was one of the most amazing moments of my life (so far). I finally got the chance to present myself in front of my entire family, and my new WONDERFUL family that my brother had married in to and it was such an experience. Ive always been more for my dad (probably because I’m the only girl) and for me to tell my father that I had planned my own hotel and way to get to and from the wedding and spend the weekend in this new and lovely town was such a grown up experience for me that I’m sure everyone has a few times in their lifetime. I got the chance to bring with me a man that I knew I loved, and a man that I knew loved me too and wanted to meet my family and if I’m being honest he just made me look 100 times better.
Growing up you always feel like you have everything together and I knew right there and then…that I had absolutely no clue what I was or who I was. Seeing my brother marry the love of his life, a woman that accentuated the very best of him and made him feel smarter and more adored than ever before was the moment I realised. My brother had two best men, not one. He couldn’t decide between his two friends, two friends that he met at university and with that knowledge I was scared. Thinking ‘have I met people that I would want to be my maid of honour or even just my bridesmaid at my wedding?’ and I said no.
Now, a few months on, after I have been through my first term of university, I finally feel like I have found people that I want to spend the rest of my life with, my boyfriend, a truly wonderful and imaginative man who I couldn’t picture life without. And my new friends who even after only a few months and a couple of deep chats know me inside and out.
That has been the best part of university for me. Falling in love with the friends I’ve made and the course I’m learning and knowing that both of them are making me the woman I am today.
So as my final end of year deadlines and exams roll in, its safe to say I’m a little bit worried. About what I am capable of achieving in order to carry me into my second year and to be honest, I’m worried about what I’m going to achieve next year too.